Raising Girls, Who Happen to be Twins

The most heard compliment when my husband and I take our girls to restaurants, or outings, or big events, has always been, "What wonderful and polite girls you have." I'll be honest this never gets old! I enjoy hearing that phrase now just as much as I enjoyed it 10 years ago. This is our biggest accomplishment to date.

Looking at our girls, makes me extremely proud to be their Mom, and I can see it in my husband's eye's, just how proud he is to be their Dad. I see the way they interact with their peers, with the pets, with each other, and with adults each day, and I can't help but to wonder what it exactly was or is that we did to make this happen. Are twins easier? I don't think so, in most cases I think it's actually harder, though I can't speak from experience there. Monetary wise, I absolutely know it's harder. Take this Christmas for example. It wasn't a single ebook reader, it was two. It wasn't a single laptop, it was two. It wasn't three pairs of jeans for 1 it was six pairs of jeans for 2.

I get asked this question quite often. "What did we do?" Looking over the last 13 years, I can't say that it was a single thing we did. My husband and I come different backgrounds. He, from a family who love, and enjoy being around each other, at least 99% of the time. I say 99% of the time, because I know first hand, my Mom-in-Law loves getting the TV remote come November when it's hunting season! His parents, being the ultimate in role models, and not only married, but happily married. You can see that. It shows in their interaction with one another, as well as with the interaction they share with everyone else who comes into contact with them. Each one of their boys different in personality, but all having the same values, and morals that carry them through their lives.

I grew up living with my Mom, and stepfather, visiting my Dad and stepmother on weekends, and then just on school vacations when they moved to Florida. Divorce was not a stranger. I'm not saying my childhood was bad. It wasn't in the least, it was just different. I got to see how two separate types of families lived. On the one hand I would take great family trips with my Dad, and stepmother to places like Disney, Pompano Beach, and Hershey Park. I also got to see the other side of it. The side that isn't fun. The side where my mom would make Christmas crafts all Summer long to be able to provide for me. Maybe that's why I love Christmas decorations so much, some of the best memories I have is sitting on the kitchen floor staining reindeer with my Mom in the middle of July.

Fast forward to years later, looking back on all the life events that have taken place, maybe it's the combination of ALL our parents values, and morals that have made my girls who they are today. In less than a month they officially become teenagers. I've heard all the comments, "Oh wait, you'll see..." I don't think I will. I heard those same statements when our girls were 2 and then again at 3. We missed all those "terrible" years. Our girls come home from junior high and tell us things, that I don't think I would have ever said, they ask questions that I would have never asked. I like that kind of communication that we have with them.

Come to think of it, maybe it's the way we have always answered their questions, or the way that we have always communicated with them. I don't think we have ever sugar coated something to fit their age, we've always been honest with them. We've shown them the bills when they ask why can't we get this or why can't we do that. They know that credit cards still have to be paid with cash, and they know about interest on those credit cards. They know how to manage the minutes on each of their phone lines without ever going over them. ( I will admit, this even shocked me!) They have handled some adult issues I think better than some adults would, like doing the right thing by telling someone when a friend is hurting themselves and needs help.

So, no. It's not a single thing that we as parents have done, but a combination of what we do, and how we do it on a daily basis that makes them such independant, polite, positive individuals that I am proud to call my daughters. And, when they turn 13 next month, I will embrace it, enjoy it, and reflect on the little girls that they will always be.