Picking Up The Pieces

The sun room.  This is where in less then 13 minutes our lives were changed.  Again.  We received news late yesterday that this room was released from the investigator, and cleared to be demo'd, as the rest of the house has already been done. 

After we were allowed to go into that room, we put on some gloves, and headed into the room, to see if there was something to salvage.  Anything.  Anything at all.  We have been looking at this room for just about 3 weeks now.  I know full well what it looks like. 

I remember what it once looked like. 

We heard those unimaginable words.  Un-Determined.  This fire was undetermined.  Undetermined.  The word echos in my mind.  I can't believe it.  No answer as to why.  No reason why I do not have my boys here with me today.  We have some thoughts, and voiced some concerns to the investigator, but it seems as though nothing has come of it. 

We now realize it is up to us, and only us to ensure that we protect our home, protect our lives, and the lives of our future animals, by looking into some home items that will help to ensure against fires, contain fires, and even animal accessible only doors on both floors of our house.  I will be seeking out as much information that I can over the next few weeks, and when I come across something worth posting about, I will be passing all the information onto you, in hopes that maybe I may save someone else from going through this anguish.   

As much as we have been gazing into the room from afar, nothing can quite describe the feelings that rush over your body as you sift through 8 inches of ash.  Ash that, just three weeks ago was furniture, photos, walls, windows, and a ceiling.

As we walked through the room, the memories just became completely overwhelming.  The memories of sitting at my desk working, while my boys lay under my desk, keeping my feet warm, and sighing when I tried to move.  Memories of Family Wii night with the girls, and trying to play "around" the boys, and still manage to win the game, even though they made it near impossible. 

Memories of snacking on Oreo cookies, and sharing a few with the boys, while JP, re-iterated, "You spoil them."  ( and then watch JP share his crackers with the boys five minutes later!)

As tough as it was last night, it's even tougher to hear the rubble beign tossed away into the dumpster. 

We will once again begin to pick up the pieces.