It's More Than Just Elementary...

 

I have been reading a ton of  blogger's perspectives lately on the recent events of the Newtown CT shooting.  Whenever you have something of this magnitude, you spark debates, arguments, and controversies. 

 

It happened in 1999 when the Columbine shooting took place.  It happened in 2001 on 9/11.  It happened again 2007 with the Virginia Tech shooting.  It happened in July of this year with the Batman Movie shooting, and now once again with the Newtown CT shooting, and with each of these events we spoke with our girls about what happened.  I will always remember talking with my girls when they were only 3 years old, when they asked why "Mommy was crying" when 9/11 was happening. 

 

Columbine was a high school, 9/11 was places of employment, Aurora was a movie theater, Virginia Tech was a College, Newtown was an elementary school. The fact remains this can happen anywhere.

 

While I read many articles each day, and find valid points in many of these articles.  I have to disagree with two very strong points.

 

First, it's more than just elementary school aged children that have been affected.

 

 

 

Many elementary school officials are and have sent out emails and phone calls to parents asking them to have their children not discuss this during school.

 

If your children are home when your watching these updates on the television, I have news for you... your children are aware, whether you think they are or not. If your child goes online, they know.

 

While I agree with making sure your discussions are age appropriate, I strongly disagree with asking your children not to discuss this.  Children (of all ages) are intuitive about stressful situations.  They are curious.  They need to know.  They want to know.  Yes, kids talk to other kids, their peers, their friends.  They are comfortable talking to others their own age.  

 

 I believe all schools need to let the children and parents know that it is okay to talk about the events that have happened, and when it comes right down to it, don't we want our children to be comfortable?  Now is not the time to punish or reprimand them for discussing their thoughts about these events in school, the very place where this happened.

 

It's okay if we don't have the answers.  It's okay to tell children we don't have the answers to their questions.  It's okay to tell the children their questions are valid and it's okay to admit to our children that we as parents are scared.

 

And while my girls are in high school, it was no easier for me to bring them to school this past Monday.  I too, could feel my heart in my throat as I watched them walk into the school.  To hear my husband say he too was uneasy was a little comforting to know that I really wasn't over-reacting.

 

He too was worried about the same thing I was, someone else doing the same thing to get the attention that the shooter of Newtown got.  Why?  Because there is an absurd amount of attention being given to the shooter.  I will not write or state the shooters name on my blog.  I will not give that person any more attention, as he deserves none.  Unfortunately because of the media hype, his name will go down in history.    Tell me, 20 years from now, will you remember the names of his 26 victims?  Probably not.  Reality is, you will remember the shooters name though. 

 

While thoughts of home schooling absolutely crossed my mind more than once, I don't want my girls to live in fear.  I want them to know how to protect themselves, I want them to listen to that voice in their head when it tells them that something isn't right.  I want them to know how to be aware of their surroundings.  I want them to ask questions.  I want them to be strong, confident women who get to grow up.

 

We as parents cannot be afraid to talk to our children. Which is why conversations during our dinner time recently have turned to "what do you think you should do" if something like this happens in your school?   I believe that arming our children with knowledge is the most important tool to life that we can give them.